Monday, March 29, 2004
Of Stars and Hearts
After the world stood still and went blank... the heart remembered....Everyday we live our lives the way we want it. We look forward to future as we enjoy our present. But there are times when we can't help but wonder about our past, for here lays the answer to the questions we dearly hold within ourselves. There are certain moments that will forever be etched in a man's heart and mind. In these moments, we find the true meaning of life itself...
I remember a long time ago, way back when I was in the fourth grade. I was quietly sitting at my chair during our science class. I was one of the most active in our class. Every question of the teacher, I tried to answer. Every opportunity that I can get to impress my teacher, I grab it. I was an achiever. For the past grading periods, I ranked first. I garnered dozens of praises from my instructors. Yet at that exact moment, I felt an unexplainable grief, for no reason at all. I had questions in my mind that I dare not ask myself for I behold not the answers. This kept my mind wandering for the whole of another boring class in science. The teacher was discussing astronomy and I wasn't interested. Then, out of the blue, the teacher called me. I stood up aghast and waited for her. She asked me a question. This question I’ll never forget, "How many stars are there in the heavens?" Of course, I had no answer. I can't think of a single number to save myself from the humiliation. Then, thank God, the bell rang. Instead of the usual shouting, the whole class remained still. They were quiet for they are witnessing a milestone in section D-1, the failure of the top 1. Ashamed of myself, I sat back down at my chair. Surprisingly, the teacher wasn't mad at me. She looked at the whole class as if she expected that no one could answer the question. She told us that our assignment was to tell to class how many stars are there in the evening sky. Seeing that this is my chance to redeem myself, I went home early to be able to count the stars. As I exit the school, a voice called me from afar. It was a soft voice that I could faintly hear among the crowd of students rushing home. It was my classmate Jane. I halted and wait for her as she ran towards me. "Don't feel bad about what happened in science class. You may be the first in class but that doesn't mean you know everything.” she said. "But still...” I tried to reason out. "Oh don't worry. I know what you’re thinking. I have an idea! It will be difficult if you count the stars alone, so why don't I accompany you tonight." I wasn't that sociable back then so I was surprised with Jane's suggestion. It wasn't a bad idea, and besides, I may need someone to help me record the numbers. We agreed to meet at my front yard at 8:00 PM.
The night was still young but I could already see plenty of stars in the sky. I won't forget that night. There was a cool breeze blowing and I felt a little chilly then, Jane arrived. When she approached me wearing her cute blue sweater, I felt sudden warmth. Maybe it was a sudden breath of warm air... after the usual pleasantries; we sat at the bench in the yard. Without further ado, I started counting the stars. It was a difficult task. Most of the time, I lost count. When I do, I look at her expecting that she was also counting. But to my surprise, she wasn't counting. Instead, I caught her staring at me and then she'll look up whenever we lock eyes. I didn't care about what she was doing so I continued counting on. An hour passed and I still can't count them all. The most number I can count is up to 925 stars. I pressed on counting. But each time I lose count, I get frustrated at myself. I remembered the feeling when I wasn't able to answer my teacher. Jane may have seen my face that's why she kept on saying that I should rest for awhile. She would even say that I should stop counting the stars coz it wasn't that important if I can't answer our teacher. Then, I felt her hands touch mine... A warm breeze suddenly blew... She told me that there were more important things to do... still I continued. Along the way, I was wiping the sleep off my eyes. Then, without knowing, everything went black. The last thing I saw was the face of Jane looking back at me.
I slept the whole night. When I woke up, I was lying in my bed. Then I remembered last night, I wasn't able to count the stars! I jumped up my bed and fear stroked me. What would I say if she asked me again? After being mad at myself for sleeping, I noticed a folded piece of paper at my table. I opened it and I saw a familiar handwriting. It was Jane's.
Dear Milo,
Hi. By the time you have read this, the sun would be shining in your window. And by this time, I may be at a plane going to Europe. My dad is working there as an architect and he wants us to live there. I didn't tell the class for I know that it would only make things difficult leaving you guys. I may be crying right at this very moment. But you know what, I'm kind of happy. Why? Because the last moments I spent there was spent with a special person... you... I’ll never forget you Little Milo Casey... take care always.
Forever yours,
Jane Lawrence
p.s. I counted up to 1222 stars...
Sadness suddenly cropped inside me. I suddenly remembered the little things Jane and I did. I’ll always remember that night when I saw her face so near to me. I won't forget the blue sweater she wore. I’ll never forget the moment when I felt her hand touch mine. I’ll never forget her... I can't help but feel sad for all along, I thought everything was just a coincidence. Hhhhhhhhaayyyyyyy.... then, I found myself staring at the ceiling of the classroom... our teacher entered the room. The first thing that came out of her mouth was my name. After I stood up, she asked me the same question that stupefied me yesterday. I started to say the number that Jane was able to count. And then, as if the same warm breeze that gave me warmth last night breathes unto I and I felt something unexplainable. The next thing I remember was saying the words, "There is only one star in the night sky, and now, she's leaving me behind...."
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